There is a well-known and familiar self-sabotaging complex that resists change and thrives on inertia. I believe we all encounter this phenomenon to one degree or another at some point in our life. If left unchecked, habitual programming can override your behavior.
Self-sabotage is subtle in its techniques of undoing and misdirecting all your intentions for making positive changes and growth in your life. There are many faces to this character and the voice is recognizably smooth as silk as it leaves a honey pot… just sit down and stay stuck.
Justifications and excuses are to be called out and denied access to the reins of your life.
Keep your wits about you. Whirlpools, quicksand and undertow currents can pull you into a dangerous and life-threatening situation. That doesn’t mean you’re helpless and at the mercy of every little pitfall that is on the path. However, it does mean that you need to be on your game and have some ideas, tools and skills to maneuver through the change factor.
The last thing you want to do is ignore the signal that it’s time to make some changes. If you don’t decide what habits to break, they will become destructive and break down other areas of your life such as your relationships, your career, and even your health.
Rather than leave it to total chaos, you decide what breaks.
There is a place on the Hero’s Journey (Joseph Campbell) that is referred to as a threshold. It is the crossover point between one way of being and into another. There is a process of initiation and transformation that propels the individual to take risks and enter new territory within their personal and epic story of life.
Before passing through the threshold gates, clear away the static and get a good signal from your inner guidance as to what the next step is. This means being honest with yourself. This may be where people get messed up and stuck. Change isn’t necessarily easy to get into the flow with if you aren’t used to getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
The next step always will require something from you.
Often, it’s something you don’t want to do, yet there are things required of you that have to be done on a daily basis. Participation with actionable steps is demonstrating alignment with your intentions, integrity. This is where you can decide to walk in grace across the threshold of change…or you can always wait to be thrown across. You decide how you want to look at it. Evaluate whether it really is such a difficult task to make the necessary changes you’ve been guided to follow.
You may not always get the whole picture at once, but you will always get your next step.
Accept the challenge and make a plan to move forward and get over the inertia, the block, the obstacle. Change gives way when you make a new choice rather than falling back on automated and habitual responses.
It’s at this moment that the subtle sabotaging voice creeps in and says something like, “Hey, you’ve had a hard day and deserve this…” or, “Don’t take a walk today, look at all this other important work to do.”
Here’s the trick.
Identify the subtle tactics used to try and derail your intentions.
Acknowledge and decline the invitation to yield.
Follow through with physical movements that are preparing you to make a different choice.
This is a self-supporting act of honoring your truth and will give you strength rather than take it away.
Once the initial inertia threshold is crossed, a new source of energy sets the momentum.
Another type of change is more about adaptation to disruption. Stability is always tested by the forces of nature, and it is in our ability to adapt to these changes that define resilience. For example, over the last two years there has been a rapid restructuring of relationships. Families, friendships, and the workplace environment are all in flux while people are being called on to stand with their values. These changes are major upheavals in the fabric of humanity, and it is up to each individual to let go of control of one another and stand within their own accountability to heal.
Shauna Mayfield – Thera Phase Art
If you’re interested in learning about how trauma can be healed, I am reading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk and writing a series of blog posts as I go through the chapters.